APRIL PAD CHALLENGE DAY FOUR

April Pad Day 4, 2015

The prompt for today is a Departure poem.

YOUR LEAVING

My heart is heavy

with the pain of your leaving

I am paper words

waiting to blow away

You took the color of 

my mornings 

and darkness blooms

where the sun used to play

the hours bind me with

their long black arms

dragging me through

unbearable memories,

phantom whispers

of happier times

I am slipping, thinning

to nothingness,

lines on the page

fading away.

J KUYKENDALL

APRIL PAD CHALLENGE DAY THREE

April PAD Day 3, 2015

Today's prompt is MACHINE

THE POWER OF WORDS

I stepped inside

pushed a button

and left my stomach behind

I stepped inside

turned the key

and left the town behind

I stepped inside

fastened the seat belt

and left the Earth behind

I stepped inside

opened the book 

and left the World behind

JKuykendall

I wrote another silly poem just for myself.

THE PARKING GARAGE

A hundred  faces

watch my back

But when I turn

they blankly stare

as if unaware, then

their vacant looks

slowly morph

into menacing frowns

Mustaches, eyebrows, 

and shiny teeth

they all stare like

crazed creatures

with headlight eyes

and grills for mouths

grimly grinning

snarly snarling

circly circling

Then I see it

a little red car

with a perky sheen

a bug-eyed Sprite

smiling and bright

With a silly smile

I turn to leave

A hundred faces

watch my back

JKuykendall

APRIL PAD CHALLENGE DAY TWO

April PAD Day 2, 2015

Today's prompt is A SECRET

NEW WOMAN

She looks at herself

the careful reflection 

Her hand shakes 

She runs her fingers

through her hair

Then softly

rubs a blushed cheek

She leans closer

to inspect her lipstick

Tugs at her dress

Turning with one last

look,  picks up her keys

and opens the door

Hesitating a moment

she steps out 

to face the world

At last free

No longer he

but, who she

was meant to be

J Kuykendall

APRIL PAD CHALLENGE DAY ONE

April PAD 1, 2017

Today's prompt is RESISTANCE

GRAY HAIR

Silver thread 

laced with brown

snow on top

an autumn mountain

a silver mirror

reflections of gray

liquid color

to wash away

the snow of age

the silver threads

that betray

J Kuykendall

BLOOMING ANEW!

There comes a time in life when one must face ones self and get to know who we really are. It seems as though I am coming to this stage a little late, for it feels as though I reached a plateau and held on, not wanting to face the fact that I am growing older, trying to hold on to my youth, having my head turned by comments that I looked much younger than I am, and feeling that this was something to be extremely desired. But it left me feeling as though I had to hang on to the illusion in every way possible, I had to convince myself that it was true. Then I would look at myself in the mirror and see that my hair needed to be dyed, I would check for new wrinkles or laugh lines, and how could I deal with that skin under my chin? I would look at myself from every angle with the hand mirror and wonder which side was the best side to be seen from. I would find myself constantly placing my hand under my chin so I could disguise the sagging skin. I have been trying to decide for a long time whether I should let my natural gray hair grow out, but each time I look in the mirror, I  say, one more time, the gray makes me look too old. I have decided that I hate the constant dyeing, and I am ready to let it grow. I have no idea what the chemicals in the hair dye do to you, and I am at a point where I want to "forgive" myself for growing old! There is something "freeing" in this letting go of the illusion, and I want to grow old gracefully, accepting that this is a part of life, and a new beginning. I want to be a beautiful older woman who is comfortable with who she is, not a woman who is desperately trying to hand onto the youth that has passed. So I am going to write about my journey in the pages of this blog in hopes that perhaps my experience will help someone else who is afraid of starting this journey of discovery. I will call this journey "Blooming Anew."

This is me now and I will post more photos as I grow my hair out.

SEPARATION

SEPARATION

the dull ache of your leaving 

still lingers, 

the darkness surrounds me 

like a cloak

my heart bleeds, still an open wound

after all this time

I wrap the days around me

like a binding sheet

I shut out the feelings

my heart is heavy 

my days long 

I try to chase away the memories

of happier times

they draw bitter tears

and useless regrets

I try to accept the way

of life, not really understanding

why things must be this way

Janice Kuykendall  (October 9, 2014)

Leaving

A Mother's Lament

To each of my children

I gave you a little piece of my heart

And now I wish I had given all

So that I would not feel this aching pain

of final separation so searing

that it takes my breath away

This pain that all mothers must face

when their children sprout wings

and fly away, excited for the next chapter

in their lives, while we, with open wounds

must bind them and pretend

that everything is fine 

while our hearts are breaking

I know that I must accept

what I cannot change 

the tender, sweet days of mothering

are behind me and I cry

because I wasn't ready

Janice Kuykendall  07/07/14